Call it like it is

    Ok, I'm just going to come out and say it, I'm a nympho. I'm not ashamed. Well not of that anyways. I remember the first time someone called me that. It was more in play, but it was a term that did describe me to a "T".  Someone who just couldn't get enough of sex, of foreplay, of affection , of whatever.  The problem was that I was only 15 years old at the time.

      I had this older boyfriend who was with me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Lots of time to fit in extra -curicular activities.  His parents were hardly ever home. Opportunities were endless.  My parents were so trusting, or was that permissive? Maybe a little of both. When we weren't at his family's apartment taking baths together or watching beta-max movies on his waterbed, we were with my family. A family that grew to accept my boyfriend like he was their own. Help him with homework, pay for vacations, contact lenses, trips at school.  Give him all of the home-cooked meals, rides here and there and attention that he had never been given growing up.  It was the best of both worlds! Romanic escapades/ Family events and trips.  Dates, dances,  endless summer nights and a diamond engagement ring. Chores, family fun and responsibilities.  My boyfriend taught me so much, so soon. He also bonded with my brother, my dog and my parents to a point that it was like grieving a death when we broke up. I grieved that death for many years, too afraid to get hurt again. I wouldn't let anyone else near me.

    I heard "our song" on the TV last night and a flood of emotions came swarming back. I remembered all of the good times that we had. How close we had been. What he meant to my family.   I also remembered "those endless summer nights" and how he knew me inside and out.How easy it was for him to make me climax.  I secretly long for that. Maybe not for "him", but just for that feeling.  Yes I am married. Yes my husband and I must have done something right as we have 4 kids together.  Maybe it's the fact that my husband's meds have rendered him impotent that has caused this "stirring" in me. Maybe it's hormones?  For the first time ever I'm starting to see why "Ashley Madison" exists.  Maybe that is what I'm ashamed of.